Song 6--Santa Claus is Coming to Town

"Santa Claus is Coming to Town"
Words

We take a break from the semi-deep thoughts of the previous days' songs to bring you this rant.

Santa as a chief spy of a major elf espionage team.  Sleeping, awake, good, bad.  Don't pout, don't cry.  YOU BETTER WATCH OUT!

Talk about a lesson in manipulation and conditional love.  If you are good according to Santa's standards, he will reward you with presents.  If you mess up--nothing for you!  This is a ton of pressure for a child (and me). 

As a parent, it is possible that I could have used Santa and the implicit threat of his immenent arrival as a way of behavior modification.  But this is not how I want my children to learn to choose to be good.  Yes, I want them to be good.   I don't want them to be mean.  I don't want them to pretend to be something just to get what they want.  As a parent, I don't want to bribe, trick or bully my children into acting how I want them to act.  Using those techniques is a good way to have my children act one way when they are around me and another way when they are not. 

It is also possible for them to learn that they are only lovable when they act correctly.  Scary thought.  If I don't provide a solid foundation of love and acceptance, how can I expect my child to come to me when he or she messes up?  How can they possibly see me as being able to help if I demand perfection?  Conditional love leads to perfectionism or rebellion.

And what about this not pouting or crying crap?  My desire is not for my children to be stepford children.  I want them to be able to have feelings, express those feelings and learn how to regulate those feelings.  Each of my children have different temperments and different ways of expressing themselves.  It is wrong of me to try to make them act and feel the same way.  Cry--but know why you are crying.  Pout--but know why you are pouting and what you hope to gain from it.  I want them to be the persons God has designed them to be so I think I'll let them cry and maybe even pout.

Most importantly I think I will love them no matter what and let them know that nothing in this world can ever separate them from my love for them.  Afterall, this is the love God has for each of us.  And if you think about it, is more of the love that parents try to teach their children to have for others by celebrating Santa as the giver of many presents.  This song speaks of a conditional love not the love of God or Santa.